Where Will You Go?
by Kayleigh S
Summary: Evanescence songfic, ZADR. Gaz has had enough of Zim and Dib's relationship and decides to take action.


From Gaz's POV.  
It probably doesn't make much sense as I was making it up as I went along and just had to get it out quickly. Result: there's probably a bit of rambling and useless crap, but I don't really care right now. =P  
Song is 'Where Will You Go?' by Evanescence. Oh, and there's slash.  
  
**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own IZ.

* * *

**WHERE WILL YOU GO?**  
  
Dib,  
You're pathetic. Yes, pathetic.  
No, don't panic, this isn't a suicide note. I just thought I'd be able to explain myself better through writing. I'm not gonna beat around the bush so let's cut to the chase; you and Zim... it's just wrong. I'm not talking about the whole being gay thing, I don't mind; I even half expected it. But you can't be with Zim like that. It's gone too far.  
  
_[You're too important for anyone  
You play the role of all you long to be  
But I, I know who you really are  
You're the one who cries when you're alone]  
_  
You never told me you needed someone to talk to. You're always immersed in your paranormal crap so how was I supposed to know? I guess I couldn't expect you to come to me for help; you probably thought I had my own problems. But I didn't, you know. I _didn't_ have any problems. But now I do. You've been gambling with your life here.  
Zim's supposed to be your enemy, isn't he? You've always obsessed over studying him, figuring out ways to undermine him, ways to destroy him- but he won.  
  
_[But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself?  
You can't escape  
You can't escape]_  
  
He's driven you to the edge of insanity and back; he's turned even more people against you; he's consumed you. And you've just given in because there's nowhere left to hide. You used to be the one who always chased him, who never let him get away- but now it's obvious that the tables have turned. He somehow earned your trust; you must have been so lonely and desperate that you must have been pretty easy to win over.  
  
_[You think that I can't see right through your eyes  
Scared to death to face reality  
No-one seems to hear your hidden cries  
You're left to face yourself alone]_  
  
I know how much you loathe yourself. I had to deal with your constant whining about being bullied and nobody believing you these past five years. Nobody helped you, they just called you crazy. Me, I love being alone. There are less complications and nobody can tell you what to do. But certain people are meant to have friends, they aren't meant to be alone. And you're one of those people.  
You were always the clingy child out of the both of us. I remember whenever mom used to come home from work you'd be the first one pestering her to play with you or read you a story. You were the attention-seeker and once she'd gone you had nobody to be with anymore.  
But I'm digressing here.  
  
_[But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself?  
You can't escape the truth]_  
  
There's a line, Dib. A very thin line between hate and love. And when you crossed it I'm not even sure you were aware of what you were doing. You were obviously scared and needed somewhere to hide. You sought comfort but found it in the worst possible person. Zim.  
You're in love with him, and it's that love which is going to get you killed.  
  
_[I realize you're afraid  
But you can't abandon everyone  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape]_  
  
It isn't good for you. He's going to destroy you. He's a faker, and somewhere deep inside you _must _know that, surely? Every time I see him I want to go over and punch him in his hideous alien face but I can't; not when I see how content you are with him. You used to be so isolated and lonely, and when he proclaimed his 'love' for you, you couldn't have been happier.  
  
He's using you, Dib. Using you for his pleasure. And as soon as the time's right he's going to break you, and he's going to make sure it's a clean break.  
  
My point is, I can't take it. I can't stand you not knowing.  
When I see him whispering lovingly into your ear I'm the only one that knows his words are poison.  
When I hear him complimenting you, I'm the only one that can hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice.  
When he's smiling gently at you I'm the only one that can see that nasty smirk plastered on his face.  
When he jokes around with you I'm the only one that hears a menacing cackle and not a pleasant laugh.  
When he holds your hand tightly I'm the only one who can feel the hatred eminating from his body.  
And when he's strutting down the path toward his house, silently plotting against you, I'm the only one who doesn't understand what you could possibly see in him.  
  
_[I'm so sick of speaking words that no-one understands  
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone?  
I can hear you in a whisper  
But you can't even hear me screaming...]_  
  
I know you won't be able to read this until you get home. You told dad you'd be down at the shops but I know you went to _his _house. It's where you always go. I hope you enjoyed your time with him. It's the last time you'll see him alive  
  
_[Where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself?  
You can't escape the truth]_  
  
Hmm, 9:25pm. You'll be heading home now. You'll be here in about ten minutes. I've been timing it every day, see. I'm going via a different route so I don't bump into you on the way there.  
  
By the time you find this letter it'll be too late to stop me. I've taken dad's handgun. I'm going to do what I should have thought of doing the second he set foot on this planet.  
  
_[I realize you're afraid  
But you can't reject the whole world  
You can't escape  
You won't escape  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape...]_  
  
I'll be back at about 10. Shouldn't take that long as long as I play my cards right. I'm sorry it had to be like this, Dib. You can't escape by using him as a hiding place anymore. I won't let you. It's time for a change. Time for you to see life in a different light.  
  
-Gaz 


End file.
